Cutting Ties for Care: How Working Parents Are Rewriting Office Social Norms
In today’s fast-paced workplaces, many working parents are making quiet but strategic choices to preserve precious time for their children — even if it means weakening professional relationships. A recent study by Vanessa M. Conzon of Boston College and Ruthanne Huising of ESSEC Business School, featured in the Harvard Business Review, reveals how parents, especially mothers with young children, are minimizing casual workplace interactions to meet the dual demands of work and caregiving. These parents aren't slacking off — they’re intensely focused professionals trying to avoid being derailed by nonessential conversations, birthday lunches, or after-hours social events.
The research team interviewed 72 professionals across a pharmaceutical company, a university, and a consulting firm. What emerged was a clear pattern: parents short on time use what the authors call “interaction practices” to avoid or tightly control social engagement at work. They may skip team lunches, work remotely to dodge interruptions, or even hide during meetings to avoid casual chatter. These behaviors help parents hit deadlines and get out the door in time for school pickups — but they also come with unintended consequences. Many participants reported feeling socially isolated, lacking a sense of belonging at work, and missing out on informal networks that often drive opportunity and collaboration.
Conzon and Huising argue that this tradeoff — time with fmily vs. workplace social capital — isn't inevitable. They offer practical tips for both parents and managers. Parents should be aware of the relational costs of their choices and carve out small windows for intentional connection, such as scheduled lunches. Fathers, in particular, are encouraged to take on a more equal share of caregiving duties to ease the burden on mothers. For managers, the solution involves understanding why some employees seem disengaged from the social scene, creating structured mentorship opportunities, and focusing on outcomes rather than hours logged. With thoughtful strategies, organizations can create an environment where parents don’t have to choose between connection and care.
👉 Read the full article by Vanessa M. Conzon and Ruthanne Huising on HBR: Parents Are Minimizing Work Relationships to Make Time for Childcare
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