5 Ways to Take The Mental Load Off Mom This Mother’s Day
True story: I asked my husband what the plan is for Mother’s Day this year, my first as a mom of two. His answer was, “well, what do you want to do?” Immediately no. The whole point of Mother’s Day is to not have to plan or do anything or book anything for just 24 hours. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently it might be. A new survey from OpenTable found that 39 percent of moms have to book their own meal on the big day, another example of how heavy the mental load is for mothers. We shoulder the bulk of these invisible tasks that we do day in and day out for our families that usually go unnoticed. No days off!
While physical gifts and handmade cards from the kids are great, what we really want is a break (and maybe some alone time?). Here are five super helpful things you can do for mom this Mother’s Day and every day, zero dollars required, that are pretty much guaranteed to destress her just a bit.
And yes, you bet I’ll be casually sending a link to this story to my husband and maybe even my friends’ and sister’s husbands too to drop some not-so-subtle hints…
Pitch in with the everyday physical parenting tasks. From packing lunches to booking appointments to restocking the pantry to switching over the kid’s closets every season (why does no one talk about how daunting that last one is?!), these tasks may seem small and insignificant, but the truth is, they ensure everyday life with littles runs smoothly. Consider how you and your partner can divvy up these not-so-fun-but-necessary to dos if you’re not doing so already. Even taking a few off her plate can be a gamechanger for her mental health.
Take the initiative with household chores too. Surely every couple has had the talk about how you want your spouse to do the dishes because they want to, not because you asked them to. The point is that as moms, we don’t want to have to ask our partner to do things around the house; one because it’s nagging and two because he should know by now to do them without being told! This has a technical term called the “fair play model,” which means redistributing household labor more fairly between the adults. Give it a go.
Take mental—or actual—notes. Like many moms, I’m in charge of the cognitive parenting tasks, like remembering when my kid has to dress up for a themed day at school or which friend’s kid I need to buy a birthday gift for, primarily because I am a Type A eldest daughter and my husband is a forgetful middle child who’s also a male. I keep reminders and important dates in my Google calendar, but some moments just slip my mind. Consider setting your own reminders on Siri, Alexa, or actual pen and paper as soon as you get important dates so you can be held accountable too—and not always have to ask the mom what’s on tap for the weekend.
Demand that mom take a break. Mom brain is real, according to science, and so is mom guilt (probably? I’m not a scientist but one would assume). As moms, we need to shift our mindset, let people help, and realize we deserve to not be momming 24/7. If your partner can’t do that for herself, help her out. Tell her to go out for an hour or two alone or with a friend, that you have the kids and the dinner is taken care of. Or better yet, take the kids out so she can stay home alone and do as she pleases. How glorious.
Tell her she’s doing great. Truth is, none of us hear often enough from people who actually know it and mean it that “you are a good mom.” These few words can hold so much weight, especially when our kids may be too young (or too cool) to express this sentiment. Write it in a card or say it out loud. Either way, tell her like you mean it!
Moms, what do you want for Mother’s Day that isn’t an actual physical present?
Email us or give us a shout on our socials. We’re all ears👂! And if you enjoyed this article, sign up for our weekly newsletter below, with tips, tricks, and trends coming to your inbox every Sunday morning.
